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ketsueki_raven
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Name: Whitney
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Birthday: 10/17/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Anime, manga (I own over $10,000 worth), video games, Japan, music, RPGs, anime conventions, and anything related
Expertise: Video games, psychology, drawing, writing, crafting, HTML, violin, and remaining optimistic at no matter what life throws at me
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  IcicleSassy
Yahoo:  raven_demise
Member Since:
7/21/2004
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| As time moves on, it becomes even more noticeable that unless you were the top 3 in your graduating class, than your academic success means nothing. I would've been 6th in my class, if a teacher didn't screw me over and count my absences for National Honor Society against me. I worked my ASS off in school for literally nothing. I have not won a single scholarship (other than the entrance one the private religious college gives you so the expenses don't scare you away. big deal. the entire student body of that school gets the same thing). I go through all the scholarship websites I have every two weeks and fill out ALL the scholarships I can. I've been doing this since senior year in school back in 2007. My GPA was higher than 4.0. My ACT score neared 30. I participated in as many after school activities I could (going to school at 7:35am and leaving school at 5pm just to go to work until 9:30pm, and then to work on 8 hours of homework that came along with honors). And yet it means nothing because I don't have shit to show for it. The only help I get is from fafsa. Unfortunately, fafsa doesn't recognize a broken family and instead looks at the numbers as a whole. Fafsa doesn't see me only eating one meal a day because my parents can't afford to buy food for the house. Fafsa doesn't see the realitor walking through my house doing an appraisal so that we can put our house up for sale so that the bank can't put a foreclosure on it. Thankfully, Pres. Obama helped out too by increasing the Pell/MAP grant, which inched a couple of thousands off my bill, enough to tackle the financial expenses increase college's go through every year. I owe $3000 to my school by the 29th. My financial aid has already gone through. Fuck. Guess I'll start filling out the scholarship applications every week now. I'm bound to hit the lottery eventually. | | |
| So I've decided: I'm done. I'm done living in fear. I'm done worrying about coming home to a burnt down house. I'm done having no where I can feel safe at. I used to fear change when I was younger because where I was at was stable. Change meant moving into a territory that wasn't stable, and that scared me. It was drilled into me so much that I've become somewhat OCD where I want things to be perfect. When I do a project at work, it has to come out perfect. So I decided to become adventurous and play with change. Already in the mood of trying new things and being more outgoing, it didn't seem as scary. Now, I'm ready. I'm ready to let change happen. I have to. I have no other choice. Things cannot go on the way they are. But in order for change to happen, I have to let go. I have to say goodbye to the house I've lived in all my life. Goodbye to the block I've walked every night for nearly four years. Goodbye to everything that's familiar to me. I refuse to leave behind my things. My animals, my dogs and my cat, are coming with me. My manga, anime, and video games are coming with no matter how many trips it takes. Every last stuffed animal in this house is coming with me. My things are my strength. No more lies. No more threats. No more bull shit apologies. | | |
| Fourth of July has come and gone already. It was a fun weekend nevertheless. Fireworks at my aunts and then the small dangerous flying ones (like the helicoptors and airplanes) under trees at my house. Good times! Had three days off from work in a roll, which is nice...though I do like the money I get from working a full week. Still deciding if I'd rather transfer to Normal, IL JCPenney. It would only work if I got a car, and if they let me come home for some weekends and holidays. Recently, we got out the old Mario Party's and having been replaying all the boards. We're on Mario Party 4 right now. They bring back fond memories. Tonight, if it's not raining, we're planning on taking our mom and Nicole's mom mini-golfing and then out to eat, probably at Culver's. It'll be a late bday present to my mom (that and flowers for her garden). I still haven't heard anything regarding room from ISU. I applied for a room too late, so I didn't get to pick one, but I did down my preference as Watterson. Sanzo: What about you, Goku?
Goku: Huh?
Sanzo: For example, if you lost your life, would you want us to bring you back?
Goku: ...Hmm. No. It's okay. I think I'd be okay.
-from Saiyuki Reload | | |
| So it’s been awhile since I’ve written. Every other week, the Internet gets shut off. I feel like I’m falling behind in a lot of things, one of those being the RPG. I was supposed to average a page for the website a day….and I haven’t.
Anyways, I’ve been seeing a lot of movies lately like Public Enemies, Transformers II, Year One, Angels and Demons, and X-Men Origins. I’ve rented even more from blockbuster. Found some more Japanese movies I absolutely love: Sukiyaki Western Django, Versus, and Azumi. Awesome movies! :D
Went with some friends to U of I for some Chinese, exploring, Korean, and Karaoke. The karaoke place is adorable! Definitely going to go back sometime soon.
Soycon was crazy! It was extremely hot, but definitely worth going. We won Judge’s Choice for the masquerade :D First award ever! We cosplayed as Kingdom Hearts II characters: Lacey was Sora, Sam was Kairi, Nicole was Namine, and I was Riku. Met some of the Naruto cosplayers from the acen forums and was inducted into their family. They couldn’t believe I was the Orochimaru cosplayer from acen ^-^ In fact, one girl told me that I was her inspiration to cosplay as Oro >< Makes me feel happy that my Oro cosplay is appreciated. Now if only I could stand to wear the contacts…. I was also inducted into some cosplay group in Joliet o.O Oh well, it sounds like fun. Anyways, the con ended with some pantsless dancing and spankings o.<
I’m so happy to have Nicole back and not some poser she was turning out to be when she lived in Flint and Detroit. This summer has been filled with fun times and with many more planned out (including Knights of the Round Table, Shed Aquarium, Planetarium, Museums, Judge Mathis, Naruto Gathering, and Deep River Water Park.
On the down side, when you think a broken home couldn’t get any worse, it crumbles apart right underneath you. I feel like I’m on a giant mud slide going downhill and packing mud on the way down. 'If I look like I'm fading, light a torch for me.' - Kazuya Minekura | | |
| Whenever I tell someone about my poor eye sight and the fact that it's been horrible since around 9th grade, I always get the same question: How come you never got your eyes examined? I can only respond "Well...my parents..." I'm straight edge. I have my parents to thank for that. I don't wanna end up anything like them. I can't wait to move into dorm :D | | |
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